One of my goals this year is to date my husband again and to maintain a stronger balance between work, comedy and my family. Dearest husband and I are doing great, kids are good and off we go, yay 2014. We are ready for anything!
So as it appears, anything is happening. Josh’s mom is close to passing away. Her kidneys shut down and they say to prepare for the end this week. At this moment I have to take the time to spell out how important my husband is to me. We have been together for over 16 years and while if you have read this blog you know that this past year I was not as dedicated a spouse as I could have been, but still our time together has been amazing and together our hearts will dwell together wherever we are. (note I received Josh’s permission to do this blog post at this time)
Josh’s mom, Sandy, is a great woman. She was born with a disorder that I don’t remember the name of, but know it is the same genetic disorder that was represented in the movie “Unbreakable” played by Samuel Jackson. The doctors said she wouldn’t live past 5 years old, but here she is in her sixties. She put herself through school and received her master’s degree in Educational Psychology. She has been in a wheelchair for most of her life and when she went to school in the 70’s they didn’t have accessible washrooms. She wheeled herself right into the Dean’s office and pissed on his floor. The university soon revamped it’s policy’s for people with disabilities. On Josh and my first date the bones in her lungs collapsed and she was rushed to the hospital and she miraculously made to fight another day and required oxygen to breath. That didn’t dampen her spirits and she remains an amazing woman.
When I first heard about her kidney’s shutting down I assumed another miracle was on the way but Josh says that no, this is it. He has been told this would happen his entire life, in essence he has been preparing for it. That only makes the matter of fact evidence normal to him but emotionally the toll will be hard. Josh is very close to his mom, they shared a special bond. She was told she could never have a child and poof, out came Josh. He didn’t always live with her when he was growing up and the story goes that when he was having a really bad time and missed her that picture would fall off the wall at her house and she’d know to call him.
Josh lost his dad about six years ago. It was right after we adopted our children and the last email he sent to us was to tell us that he was proud of us for adopting the kids. That was the last we spoke to him and he was gone. This is very close to the last family member Josh has and it will be hard.
This entire thing has us talking about family, what it is, who they are and what everything means. We have my family though we are not all close. We have a few distant relatives in his family too which is nice, but we rarely to never see them. (but thank goodness for Facebook) We have friends we love and consider close, but at the end of the day, family is family. Good and bad.
So for me my family is Josh and my kids. They are what matters most to me in this world. I love my friends and I love my parents and siblings but at the end of the day it really is just the JH5 against the world. While that may seem like a sad thought it’s not. When I worry about old friends, things in the world, or get distracted by petty drama or insecurities I really have to sit and be grateful that I have this tight close family of Josh and the kids. I have love in my life that is pure, true and while moments may go up and down, we are here for life. I am here for Josh to lean on and he is there for me. This is family, this is love.
So whatever family is to you remember tonight to be grateful for love in your life. Our parents may drive us crazy but we love them. Our kids may drive us crazy but we love them so much, and Josh and I may drive each other crazy at times, but our partnership and love is the most real and consistent thing I know. I hate to see him in pain, I hate to be in pain, but I know that all things make us stronger and as we all age and move ahead in life, it’s always important to remember to take time and truly appreciate the gifts we are given.
Thanks for listening.